Anxiety

Welcome to Alice’s Anxiety

Hello and welcome to my first blog post!  I am creating this blog as a way to work through what has been an extremely difficult time in my life, and maybe provide some help for people who are going through the same thing.  I have named the site after my late grandmother who I inherited my anxiety from.  In a lot of ways we have very similar personalities and I might talk about it a bit more in a later post.

Some basic info about me: I am a 34-year-old female, introverted, HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and INFJ.  This summer I experienced what in olden days they would have called a nervous breakdown, but nowadays they refer to as panic disorder brought about by extreme stress in my home and work life.  Living through it has been a nightmare that I hope very few of you will ever experience, but if you do, I want you to know you’re not alone.  Here are just some of the symptoms I’ve had in the past six weeks:

  • Eye twitches
  • Extreme dizzy spells
  • Heaviness/weakness/numbness usually on the whole left side of my body, but sometimes my right
  • Rocking feeling like when you’re on a boat
  • Burning face/ears
  • Ringing ears
  • Headaches that move all over my head
  • Neck stiffness and pain
  • Tremors
  • Chest pains
  • Nightmares
  • Choking sensations/feeling like I’m being strangled
  • Nausea
  • Extreme health anxiety about stroke, heart disease and tumors
  • Blurry vision/lots of floaters
  • Feelings of hopelessness/doom
  • Crying
  • Sense of unreality
  • Fear of insanity

The sad part is, there are very few people I have been able to talk to about this.  It isn’t like other illnesses, where if you get sick you can take time off work and everyone is helpful and sympathetic.  Like many people with mental health problems, I have to force myself to go to work every day and pretend everything is okay. I work in a profession where we constantly have to be positive and serve the public all day long, even when we are screaming inside.  That is why I wanted to start this blog, to reach others who are going through the same thing.  I find people who aren’t/haven’t gone through it have no idea what it’s like.  Please reach out to me and comment if you feel like you are also alone.  I hope hearing about my experience and what I’m doing to cope will give you some comfort.

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